So I haven't written in this blog for quite a while. Since February, about. And in a little change of pace, I'm going to save the "this is what I've been doing in my life" rambly post for a little later (hopefully not too much later, I do have a dismal memory and I might keep forgetting memories of Winter Semester at BYU...), and I'm going to make a post a little reminiscent of what my friend Beth Root is doing over at her wonderful blog. Hopefully I can write something half as good and inspiring as she does. Well, here goes...
Today (Sunday, the 18th), I played the organ in Sacrament meeting for the fifth time. That's right, I got home from college...and got called as the ward organist. My first Sunday back, my Bishop called out to me in the chapel after Sacrament meeting and had a little talk with me. I noticed that Sister Fitzhugh, a wonderful lady in our ward who has years of experience with the organ (and I believe piano as well), and used to be the stake music coordinator, was with him. I didn't have much time to process that before he asked me if I knew how to play the organ...and after I answered that I didn't, he told me that Sister Hart, the then-current organist, was moving, and that he'd like me to take lessons with Sister Fitzhugh...and then call me as the ward organist. I was kind of surprised (OK, understatement, I was pretty dang surprised...). I expected to be called as a Primary teacher, or a member of the Activities Committee, or some similar calling that's usually given to college students home for the summer. Don't get me wrong, it was a bit exciting (I mean, there's only a few music-y callings in every ward, and here was the Bishop offering me one of them), but I kept thinking at first, "Me? Playing the organ? In front of the whole ward?" and stuff like that.
It got kind of worse when I had my first lesson with Sister Fitzhugh...it went pretty well, but I was definitely not playing up to Sacrament meeting level my first time. I didn't quite feel discouraged, but I wondered how I could ever be good enough to play for the whole ward every week. I also kind of wondered if I'd be able to handle this calling. But every time I had doubts creep up like that...first, I took time to breathe, and then I remembered my previous calling. At BYU, I got called as the Priesthood chorister and music coordinator. You may think, "Oh, Brandon loves music. Being a chorister is an awesome choice for him!" Well, that's not very accurate...you see, when Bishop Whitchurch extended that calling to me, I was kind of worried. I've never been that great at leading music...I always couldn't keep the rhythm too well, and in previous instances I had to conduct like Seminary Conference and the occasional Priesthood meeting in my home ward, it usually ended in disaster/me looking like a malfunctioning robot. :) I told the Bishop that I accepted my calling, but just like my initial thoughts with the organ, I thought I wouldn't be good enough, and even had thoughts that I'd rather be the ward pianist or something. I didn't really feel comfortable with it at all. Well, obviously I still went along with it...and the next Sunday, I was set apart after Elder's Quorum in my calling (after a not-TOO-terrible first time leading the music in Priesthood). And that's where my doubts all went away. (Some of them returned briefly every so often, but they never stayed long, and that's not the point. :) ) Having Priesthood leaders laying their hands on my head, and being set apart by God to perform a calling in His Church...it was just an amazing feeling, and I just knew afterwards that however uncomfortable I might be with my new calling, it would be alright, and I would be able to handle it and do my best.
Well, I actually didn't get set apart as the organist until last week, so I can't say the same exact experience happened with this calling. But I remembered the experiences I had as a reluctant chorister (I grew to love the calling...and I got to pick the hymns, which if any of you know me is something I love to do, moo hu ha ha ha :D), and that, along with remembering just who I was called by (our Heavenly Father) has helped me feel better about playing the organ every week. I definitely haven't been perfect (there's wrong notes all the time, and then last week I overslept, barely got to church by nine, and nearly missed playing the opening hymn...oh, did I mention the stake president and a billion people were there because it was someone's farewell? :) ), but I've been able to get through every single hymn (even the National Anthem, which I was worried about), I've (hopefully) been able to bring the Spirit, and I feel confident that I've given my best every week. I still have room to improve (and I still have yet to use those dastardly foot pedals), but I know I can do it with my Heavenly Father's help. :)
And before I go/end this post, I'd like to switch gears briefly and bear my testimony of the Priesthood. I had the opportunity to be ordained as an Elder last week, and it was a wonderful experience. My dad was able to ordain me, and in my opinion, if you didn't feel the Spirit in that room as he did so, you're crazy. :) I have a testimony of the power of the Priesthood, that it guides our church, and that it has been ordained upon the earth by our Father in Heaven. It is the greatest privilege for me to able to hold it, and I will always strive to stay worthy of it. Always. :)
